Let me tell you something about David Cameron. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started voting for my first Prime Minister Tony who was totally gorgeous but then he started an illegal war but whatever, and David was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to vote for Tony, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my election-night party, which was an all-Labour party, I was like, “David, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re Conservative.” I mean I couldn’t have a Conservative at my party. There were gonna be guys there who weren’t white. I mean, right? He was a Conservative. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and he came this year for the election, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s on crack.

thatsnotmynamex:

lottieeeee

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